My body was telling me, with unmistakable clarity, that it wasn’t ready for hard speedwork. After limping through several test 440s, I knew I was running on empty, with labored breathing, tangled form, and reluctant mind. Instead of pushing on, as in the “Brad Hauser” run (Chapter 35), I prayed for guidance, then packed it in. To my surprise, I felt wonderful, full of energy and robust self-assurance.
Two days later, I spent the morning puttering around the apartment while a March Madness basketball game played on TV. Feeling dopey and unsure where I wanted to run, I donned shorts and shoes and climbed in the truck. I thought, “I should get back to my roots. I’ll run in the hills.” But I felt little enthusiasm for the long drive to the ridge, so I headed for Stanford. The hills behind the campus were green with new spring grass, yet I felt no joy in the thought of running there.
Disgusted, I turned down Stanford Avenue, still uncertain what to do. Examining my heart, I detected a spark of joy in the thought of going to the track for speedwork. This was surprising, yet the feeling was unmistakable. I parked at the stadium and warmed up with an easy 40-minute jog through the woods.
It’s fun to run on the campus on a spring afternoon. The baseball team was warming up while country music blared. A women’s lacrosse game was getting underway. A field hockey player was doing sprints on a grassy field, and the softball team was taking batting practice.
I carefully worked to bring my mind to a focus. Over and over, I turned my attention inward, refusing to let it be pulled outward by the distractions, yet enjoying the freshness of the morning from a calm center within.
At the stadium, I ran several warmup miles on the track, still keeping up the effort to focus my mind. I decided to do twelve hard quarter-mile repeats with a quarter-mile jog between. During the slow recovery laps, I returned to the practice of deepening my mental focus, and I continued to pray for guidance.
On the best laps, I felt a calm detachment amid the pain – which was considerable, because I was running all-out. After six laps, the repeats became easier, and by the eighth lap my body was recovering quickly. I came away from the workout feeling very good.
Three workouts – three results. On the “Brad Hauser” day, I got so carried away by will power that I burned my weary body to a crisp. Afterward, at the track meet, I witnessed a powerful demonstration of how a runner’s joy comes from balancing effort and relaxation.
The following week, I paid careful attention to my intuition and broke off the workout after five laps, and I was rewarded with feelings of health and joy.
For the third workout, I felt guided to go to the track instead of the hills. I followed the higher guidance and worked hard to focus my attention, and the workout was imbued with feelings of rightness.
A wonderful thing about the inner guidance is that it’s tailored to our individual needs. In the spiritual teachings, it’s said that God’s love is all the more loving for being impersonal. His love is freely given, wanting nothing from us but our love, holding no desire for us but our highest welfare. It accepts us just as we are, and when we ask, it gladly shows us the next step toward happiness.
