I drove to the sports complex at Stanford to begin a run. In my morning prayers, I had felt rebellious, and I had sensed God’s blessings ebbing away. I felt that God wanted me to pray lovingly for a friend with whom I’ve had a disagreement, but I couldn’t let go of the upset. I didn’t sense that God was angry about this; but all the same, my negative thoughts were keeping me apart from Him.
Starting the run, I was still in a funk, depressed about the situation. I thought it might be a short run, but a quiet guidance seemed to be suggesting that I go farther. I had been running for a little over an hour, when I felt an invitation to do some fast running. This was surprising, because the day was hot and my heart rate was soaring. Yet it was easy to run fast.
I ran at threshold pace for eight minutes, then slowed for three minutes. Then I did a series of short intervals, raising my heart rate to the highest threshold pace, 92% of maximum, for 30 seconds, then letting it fall until “my heart came comfortably back inside my chest.”
I ran another fast interval, and it felt very good, very natural. In fact, it felt as if God were guiding me. I had been unable to shake my negativity, even after praying hard for my friend, cranking out my prayers dutifully in the hope of stimulating a flow of genuine feeling. I had tried to send her my good wishes, for health, love, strength, wisdom, and joy. But my heart hadn’t been in it. I had felt only a small upliftment, not the expansive freedom that comes with a flow of genuine kindness and love.
Years ago, I interviewed the teachers at a small rural private school where, when a child falls into a negative mood, the teacher might ask him to run for five or ten minutes. The child almost always returns with a sunnier attitude. Energy stimulates positive feelings. And so it proved today. I’m not claiming that fast running filled my heart with sweetness and light, or that it enabled me to climb the mountain and bring back God’s joy for all the world. But I’m feeling more positive, and with fresh energy, I’m more eager and able to bless my friend.
